I am fresh out of a nearly three year relationship. My friends are standing beside me coping with the loss of their own lengthy relationships. It’s funny how things work. I can’t say that I am okay with the end of my relationship or that I necessarily want it back. I can fondly recall cozy sundays with dinner and football all the way to hot summer weekends on a speedboat on the lake. Opposite those memories I have some that make me so furious I’m just not sure what to do with myself.
I don’t regret my relationship, I do not wish I had done anything differently and I definitely wouldn’t care to replay it- I simply am thankful that I was given an opportunity to learn and grow. Like any relationship it wasn’t all happy and it wasn’t all bad- it was what it was.
Post breakup I have had some time to reflect on lessons I want to carry throughout my next relationships and certainly every other relationship in my life. I can only keep walls up for so long, life is a long and winding road and love is the prize. (see what I did there? told ya I love to apply song lyrics to my life. hey pretty girl- Kip Moore and don’t wake me up –Avicii) Love IS a prize, its hard and can be ugly but it’s the closest thing we have to magic. I also learned to never lose sight of who I am and what I want. A significant other is an equal or a partner, not someone to create boundaries and hold you back. I’m a girl with big dreams and I intend on doing my best to make all of those dreams a reality.
My time as a single gal has been quite enjoyable- filled with wine, grey goose (disclaimer: grey goose packs a punch and WILL get ya. That’s a promise), dancing and beer pong practice. I do, however, miss him. I miss him when I’m sick and want to cuddle with a good movie, I miss him when there is a big bug I just can’t get myself, I miss him when I’m hungry and in desperate need of takeout without moving from the couch or opening my wallet, I miss him when I need someone to tell me that I’m not crazy and everything will work out eventually, I miss him on the anniversaries of friends passing and I miss him when I scroll through old pictures I just can’t bring myself to get rid of.
I consider myself one of the most lucky girls in the world to have the support system I did and still have in him. Through fights and mistakes, on my part and his, there isn’t another person I would think to call if I needed help.
In those moments I’m feeling sad or inadequate I have my girl friends. The most amazing, diverse group of friends anyone could ever dream of. We cling to each other and Moscato. Because when you don’t need feelings, you most definitely need wine. I am not expecting my future husband to appear in front of me and I am not expecting my happy ever after anytime soon. Don’t get me wrong, my wedding board on Pinterest is my most pinned, but I have so much to accomplish in the world before I become a wife.
Since I believe that Sex in the City is chock-full of incredible wisdom, I leave you with a quote from Carrie- “I believe our girlfriends are our soul mates,” and I do. Without my soul mates, well, I would be one lost soul.
So ladies, here’s to making up, breaking up, good friends and good wine.
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